Ghaleon's Peril Hardly About Ghaleon
by Stilleas
Summary: I CAN'T SUMMARIZE THIS! Hey, It's been like a year since I last updated it, but chapter 11 is finally up, due to my boredom!
1. Ghaleon's Peril

I just wanna say this before we start: I am insane,   
considered so by myself and 99% of all people I know.   
So is my humor. Not "Sick Insane," but more along the   
lines of... well... actually, I think I may have invented   
a new type of humor. If you don't like it, well, I probably   
deserved that. If you do, then that's fine too, and better   
for me than if you don't. Now, this is done in play format,   
and the cast is actually from both LUNAR games. Also, I   
don't own the LUNAR series or any of its characters, so   
don't get me in trouble!!!  
  
SCENE ONE: GHALEON'S PERIL  
CAST:Quark  
Jean  
Master Mel  
Ghaleon (duh)  
Hiro  
Lucia  
Leo  
Ramus  
SETTING:Quark's Cave  
  
As we open, Quark is seen asleep in his cave and a   
smaller figure is laying down, shadowed by Quark. Suddenly,   
there is a knock at the door (Quark had one installed after   
the "Ghaleon Incident").  
  
*Knocking*  
  
*Knocking harder*  
  
*Knocking furiously*  
  
*Door falls off*  
  
Hiro: Hello? Quark? Come on! I thought we were gonna   
watch the Super Bowl today!  
  
Lucia: What's a "Super Bowl?"  
  
Hiro: Basically, a buncha humans get in a stadium and beat   
the @#$% outta each other until someone crosses a line with   
a ball.  
  
Lucia: Oh.  
  
Hiro: Doesn't it sound fun to watch?  
  
Lucia: "Fun?" What is... "fun?"  
  
Hiro: Never mi...  
  
*A loud roaring sound is heard*  
  
Quark: Who the @#$% is it?! Eh?! Oh. *snore*  
  
*Quark roles over on the shadowy figure*  
  
Muffled Voice: Git the @#$% offa me, ya' @#$%!  
  
*The sound of flesh being cut is heard*  
  
Quark: ALTHENA, IT HURTS!!!  
  
*Quark jumps up off of the shadowed figure and we see it's   
Mel*  
  
Lucia: Hiro, what does @#$% mean?  
  
Hiro: I'll tell ya' later.  
  
Lucia: @#$%. @#$%. That's a fun word. @#$%. @#$%!!!  
  
Hiro: It's about time ya' woke up, Quark! The game started  
an hour ago!  
  
Quark: Ugh... I think I got a hangover. Hmm...? Mel? What're   
ya' doin' 'ere?  
  
Mel: I dunno. I was at the bar, then I woke up here.  
  
*Suddenly, the entire place rumbles, and the group is pelted  
with ice balls from the ceiling*  
  
*The Destiny crashes through the cave wall and chunks of rock  
hit Quark in the head*  
  
Quark: @#$%!!!  
  
Lucia: I like the @#$% word! @#$%!  
  
*Jean and Leo hop off of the Destiny, followed soon by FatRamus*  
  
Jean: Hi, guys, what's up?  
  
Lucia: @#$%, Jean, @#$%!  
  
Ramus: Leo, what's her problem?  
  
Leo: Nothing, really. She's just stupid, that's all.  
  
Ramus: Oh. Anyway. QUARK! Do you have any more diamonds?  
  
Quark: Yeah, actually, I feel some coming on right now.  
  
*As Quark says this, a barrage of crap-diamonds fly from his @#$%,   
several sharp ends piercing Ramus*  
  
Ramus: I think I'm dying!  
  
*Just at that moment, Ghaleon appears from nowhere (he's rather   
good at that... too good...)*  
  
Ghaleon: *Laughs demonically* I can speed that up for you! *More  
demonic laughter*  
  
*Ghaleon shoots about a million volts of electricity, and it   
probably would finish Tubby, except for one thing...*  
  
*Quark turns in Ghaleon's direction, and, without a word, barfs   
all over him*  
  
Ghaleon: AAAAAAAGH! IT BURNS! WHAT IS THIS, ACID?!?!?!?!?!  
  
Quark: *Barfs on Ghaleon again*  
  
*Suddenly, Ghaleon disappears as quickly as he came*  
  
Ramus: Thank you, Quark. You really saved me.  
  
Quark: *If you haven't guessed what happens next, please do so now*  
  
Ramus: SEARING PAIN! MY EYE! MY ARMS! MY WHOLE @#$% FAT BODY!!!  
  
Ramus: ...  
  
Lucia: @#$%!  
  
Leo: Let's get outta here!  
  
Jean: Hurry!  
  
*Hiro grabs Lucia and follows Leo and Jean's lead, Lucia chanting   
"@#$%" all along. Quark stands in the middle of the cave, puke spewing   
from his mouth like a firehose plus four. Oh, and if you're wondering   
what happened to Mel, he was hit by the Destiny when it crashed through* 


	2. UltraIntergalactic CybotG Who?

SCENE TWO: ULTRA-INTERGALACTIC CYBOT-G WHO?  
  
CAST: Ultra-Intergalactic Cybot-G Marina Lightyear  
  
Jean  
  
Ghaleon  
  
Hiro  
  
Lucia  
  
Leo  
  
Ramus  
  
SETTING:Quark's Cave (Dungeon Area)  
  
As we open, Hiro, Lucia, Jean, and Leo are dashing out of Quark's room...wait, they just finished dashing. Now they're going at a slow pace. Now they're talking...  
  
Hiro: That sure was a close one...  
  
Lucia: @#$%!  
  
Leo: Quiet yourself, Destroyer Lucia!  
  
Jean: It's too bad that Ramus is dead.  
  
Hiro: It is?  
  
Jean: Naw, I'm just screwin' with ya'.  
  
Hiro: ...Hey, where do ya' think Ghaleon got off to?  
  
Ghaleon: I'm right here, you pathetic fools.  
  
Lucia: @#$%!  
  
Leo: Ghaleon! Choose now for the sixth and final time: are you on our side or not?  
  
Ghaleon: I will just leave that for you to decide.  
  
*Disappears*  
  
Jean: What the @#$% was that supposed to mean?!  
  
Lucia: What...does anything mean anymore?  
  
Leo: We must leave this cave at once! The ceiling's crumbling!  
  
Jean: Hey, Hiro. Where's Ruby, anyway? Isn't she usually sitting on your shoulder hating us for living?  
  
Hiro: Hmmm.......oh, well, uhhhh.......gotta go!!! *Dashes off really fast*  
  
Leo: No matter: WHITE DRAGON WINGS, TAKE US TO THE EXIT!  
  
*The rest of the party is transported to the entrance to the cave*  
  
Leo: Now we simply wait for Hiro to come to us!  
  
*As Leo says this, Hiro comes running as fast as he can past them, at least a hundred monsters chasing him*  
  
Jean: Ha-ha! Hiro's gonna get mauled to- *Lucia shoves Jean into the stampede of beasts...she dies*  
  
Lucia: @#$%!  
  
Leo: I knew it all along! Destroyer, now you will suffer!  
  
*A Nipple-Yanker stops in front of them*  
  
Nipple-Yanker: No, don't kill her! It's not right. You are Leo, the White Knight! You'd be doing a naughty thing if you did that!  
  
Leo: Oh, what do you know?  
  
Girl's Voice: SSSSSTTTTTOOOOOPPPPP!!!  
  
*A girl with green hair and white armor jumps out from behind a boulder*  
  
Leo: Who the @#$% are you?  
  
Girl: I am Ultra-Intergalactic Cybot-G Marina Lightyear, and I've come to stop you, vile villain! Now you will pay!  
  
Hiro: See, Leo! There ARE people cornier than you!  
  
Leo: How'd you get away from all those monsters?  
  
Hiro: Concussion Sword...anyway, carry on.  
  
Marina: *Picks up Leo* Ha! *Shakes him violently and abusively in the air* Shake-shake-shake! *Throws him into  
  
the Nipple-Yanker* Yah!  
  
Leo & Nipple-Yanker: *VERY high-pitched* Owww! *Nipple-yanker is thrown off- screen, and several blue,  
  
purple, red, and green gems fly from his and Leo's bodies*  
  
Marina: My kick will destroy you! *Flies at Leo, kicks him in the face*  
  
Leo: Heeeeelp meeeeee, MARINAAAAAAAAA!!!!!  
  
Marina: Oh, no, what have I done...for the fifty-seventh time...??! *She dashes off in Leo's direction*  
  
Lucia: @#$%!  
  
Hiro: Hmph. Hey, whaddaya say, we go take the Destiny back home and scare the @#$% outta Leo?  
  
Lucia: Okay!  
  
*They walk out together*  
  
*Meanwhile, concerning Leo...*  
  
Leo: AAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHH! Wall...  
  
Marina: Had enough pain yet, creep?  
  
Leo: Yes, please, leave me alone!  
  
Marina: Hmmm...I usually don't get that kind of answer. Usually, it's some stupid crap like "Kill me, I'm not worthy to live!"  
  
Leo: What the- OF COURSE I'M WORTHY TO LIVE!  
  
Marina: Well, that's too bad. Bye-bye.  
  
*Marina steps towards Leo, but she is crushed by something from the ceiling*  
  
Leo: RAMUS!  
  
Ramus: Hiya, Leo!  
  
Leo: Curses!  
  
*Leo dashes at Ramus, but Ramus steps aside. Leo cuts him anyway*  
  
Ramus: Why?!  
  
Leo: You are too large to deserve life...oh, and you're fat, too.  
  
Ramus: Oh. I'll just go into that corner over there and die, then.  
  
Leo: By the way, Ramus. How did you survive the crap-launcher attack?  
  
Ramus: I dunno.  
  
*Ramus crawls into the aforementioned corner, makes a few disturbing noises, and dies*  
  
Leo: Oh well...  
  
*Leo exits the cave and realizes something*  
  
Leo: Where's the destiny?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! 


	3. AwwwwwAlex's Third Word

SCENE THREE: AWWW...ALEX'S THIRD WORD  
  
CAST: Leo  
  
Hiro  
  
Lucia  
  
Nash  
  
Ramus  
  
Ghaleon  
  
Poppin' Fresh  
  
Luna  
  
Alex  
  
SETTING:Burg  
  
As we open, Hiro and Lucia, having just made it to Burg, are having a conversation when Leo appears behind them. Let's see what happens...  
  
Hiro: Lucia, I'm bored. Let's go off and do something crazy...like burn Dyne's monument or something.  
  
*A rustling sound is heard in a bush a little way behind them*  
  
Lucia: What did you say, Hiro? I was thinking about Ramus.  
  
Hiro: ...!!?  
  
Lucia: No, I do not wish to love him...I was just comparing him to-  
  
Hiro: ME?!...I win!  
  
Lucia: No...Poppin' Fresh...  
  
Poppin' Fresh: HEY! That's an insult to fat globs of sugar and dough everywhere!  
  
Lucia: *Whispering to Hiro*  
  
Hiro: *Whispers back*  
  
Lucia: *Reaches out and shoves her arm with all her might through Poppin' Fresh*  
  
Poppin' Fresh: *Stands there stunned and angry. Suddenly, his entire body begins to vibrate. He explodes into a million little thin Poppin' Freshes, all eating their own products to live up to the...large standards of their race*  
  
Lucia: @#$%!  
  
Hiro: Leeeeet's go now.  
  
Male Voice: You are not going anywhere, fools. Not until you pay the price for your crimes.  
  
Hiro: What'd I do?!  
  
Voice: Umm...SHUT UP!!  
  
Hiro: *Turns around and pokes Leo in the eye*  
  
Leo: *His head rolls off of his shoulders. Leo spouts a new one*  
  
Hiro: Lucia, he's doing that thing again!  
  
Leo: Your insuboordination towards the White Knight is not allowed. It's a no-no.  
  
Ramus: Hi, fella's!  
  
Hiro, Lucia, & Leo: *Scream like six year-old little girls who just wet the bed in the middle of their first sleep-over*  
  
Ramus: Hey, I brought my friends Alex and Luna to meet you.  
  
Alex: Luna...  
  
Luna: Oh, I've heard so much about you! Come on, I'll show you our house.  
  
Alex: Luna...  
  
Lucia: What's his problem?  
  
Alex: Luna...  
  
Hiro: *Backs into Leo*  
  
Hiro and Leo: GET AWAY FROM ME!!!  
  
Alex: Luna...?  
  
Ramus: Hey! I'm not talking!  
  
Alex: Yes you are, you fool!  
  
Luna: *Gasps*  
  
Ramus: My-my God...you...talked?!  
  
Alex: I-I didn't mean to...ummm...*Breaks into tears*  
  
Ghaleon: Hey, how's it goin'?  
  
*Shotgun is heard; Ghaleon's head is blown off*  
  
Farmer Guy: There, I got 'im! That'll learn 'em ta screw with mah tomatees!  
  
*Shotgun is heard; Farmer Guy's head is blown off*  
  
Another Farmer: There, I got 'im! That'll learn 'em ta screw with mah shootin's!  
  
Luna: Oh, darn, I forgot that today is shooting day. C'mon, inside, now!  
  
*As the group heads inside, Ramus is shot four hundred and thirty-seven point five times in the chest (just enough to penetrate his heart. The rest of the party makes it inside fine*  
  
Luna: Oh, no...Ramus died! Aren't the rest of you in any way sad?!  
  
Hiro: No, not really. He'll just pop back up in the next chapter anyway.  
  
Lucia: No, Hiro! You don't understand what's really at stake here!  
  
Alex: Luna...?  
  
Leo: STOP SAYING THAT!!!!  
  
Alex: Luna...  
  
Leo: NO! SAY A WORD!  
  
Alex: Luna...  
  
Leo: *Starts waving a stick around in the air. It catches Alex's attention* Do it for the stick! *Starts making baby noises*  
  
Alex: Luna... *Has a disappointed look on his face* 


	4. MechaMunster Attacks

SCENE 4: MECHA-MUNSTER ATTACKS! CAST: Hiro Luna Alex Leo Laike Ramus Ghaleon Myght Mecha-Munster  
  
SETTING: Alex & Luna's House  
  
As we open, the gang had just escaped getting their freaking heads blown off for "screwin' with mah tomatees." All but Ramus and Ghaleon (of course). Ahem. Let's just get through this, all right?  
  
Leo: Talk, darn you!  
  
*Leo is beating Alex in the back of the head with each word*  
  
Alex: Luna.  
  
*Leo stops beating Alex*  
  
Leo: Why do you not just speak? You did it earlier!  
  
*Alex opens his mouth, but before he can "get his 'Luna' on," Laike crashes through the roof*  
  
Laike: Yes! What a rush! .Er, I mean, I've come for you, Luna.  
  
Luna: What for?  
  
Hiro: Yeah, big guy! What for? Are ya' coming to take Luna so that she can bear your young and you can eat the babies as they turn two, then in a desperate cry for help, impale her on the highest branch of the oldest tree in LUNAR?  
  
Laike: What's it to you?  
  
Hiro: Nothing, just wondering, that's all.  
  
Alex: LUNA!!!  
  
Laike: C'mon, babe, daddy needs some-  
  
*Alex tackles Laike, but is thrown across the room*  
  
Laike: Hahaha! Pathetic mortals!!!  
  
Lucia: I believe I am the only one who is still immortal here.  
  
Laike: I never said I wasn't.  
  
Lucia: But, you implied that-  
  
Laike: Okay, you're coming with us!  
  
Hiro: No! Luna's one thing, but Lucia's another! Eat my brain, Laike!  
  
Laike: ???  
  
Luna: ???  
  
Alex: Luna???  
  
Leo: ???  
  
Lucia: ???  
  
Hiro: What? What'd I say?  
  
Laike: Sure, whatever. Look, I'm just going to kill you now, okay?  
  
Hiro: No, not really.  
  
Laike: Too bad!  
  
*Laike runs at Hiro, but Hiro dodges, causing Laike to slam into the wall*  
  
Laike: You son of a @#$%!  
  
*As Laike struggles to get up, Luna and Lucia combine their powers to teleport everyone except Laike to Myght's Tower*  
  
Lucia: Why are we here?  
  
Luna: We must inform Myght that Laike has gone mad.  
  
*Ghaleon does another pop-up trick and appears behind Hiro. He looks disgruntled*  
  
Ghaleon: Thanks. Now I feel just great. I go nuts and you take me out single-handedly. Laike does the same and suddenly you're all, "Oh, help me! I'm some pathetic woman who-!"  
  
*Leo gashes Ghaleon in the stomach with his horn. Ghaleon falls to the floor bleeding*  
  
Ghaleon: Remember me.as.a hero.  
  
*He dies*  
  
Hiro: Never so many comical deaths in one day, I tell ya'!  
  
Maniacal Voice: Eeh-hee-hee! Prepare for one more!  
  
Luna: That voice.Myght!  
  
Myght's Voice: Correct! I am on the roof of my tower, controlling my greatest creation! It should be arriving soon!  
  
*Ten minutes later.*  
  
Hiro: Where the @#$% is this thing?  
  
Myght: One minute.  
  
*Seven minutes later.*  
  
Myght: Just a second.  
  
*Ramus approaches from behind*  
  
Ramus: Hiya, fellas!  
  
Leo: Shut up.  
  
Ramus: Okay.  
  
*Ramus stands there until he dies of loneliness. Five minutes later.*  
  
Myght: Almost there-! Oh, crap! The remote's dead!  
  
Lucia: This is taking far too long.I'll be right back.  
  
*She teleports to the top of the tower, grabs Myght and his "creation," and teleports back down*  
  
Myght: Thank you, now SHUT UP!!!  
  
*Myght farts*  
  
Myght: Now, let me introduce you to.MECHA-MUNSTER!!!  
  
*The hulking machine teleported with Lucia and Myght comes to life. It looks like a life-sized Herman Munster.only more robotic*  
  
Mecha-Munster: I am here to carry out your every command, Sir Myght.  
  
Myght: Yes, I know! Now: ATTACK!!! 


	5. MechaMunster Actually Attacks!

SCENE 5: MECHA-MUNSTER ACTUALLY ATTACKS! CAST: Lucia Hiro Alex Myght Mecha-Munster (a.k.a. Steven R. Nevets) Ramus Ghaleon Leo Luna SETTING: Myght's Tower, 1F  
  
As we open, Mecha-Munster is flying across the room towards Hiro. They are currently frozen to allow me the time to write this. Hey, wait! They're moving again! Wow! What a battle! I've never seen anything so awesome in my entire life! You really don't know what you're missing! This fight is so action-packed and all-around awesome that would take your own life if you did. It is so cool that I literally want to have babies with this fight. Babies with wings. And plaid overalls. Huh? It looks like the fight's almost over.  
  
*The entire party had participated in the awesome boss fight. Except Lucia. She ran away after healing Hiro when he was at perfect health and Leo was nearly dead*  
  
Hiro: Eat this!  
  
*He begins to jump at the machine when it brings up a very good point*  
  
Mecha-Munster: How exactly would I go about that?  
  
Hiro: I dunno. EAT IT ANYWAY!!!  
  
*He jumps at Mecha-Munster with his sword out, lands on its shoulders, throws down his sword, and give Mecha-Munster the noogie of its life*  
  
Mecha-Munster: OW! OW! OOOOWWWW!!!! WHY, OH, WHY DID YOU GIVE ME SENSORS THERE, MASTER MYGHT? WHY?!?  
  
Myght: Be stong, creation of mine! KILL! KILL! KILL!!!  
  
Alex: Luna!  
  
Luna: I'm right here!  
  
Alex: Luna...  
  
Myght: What did that have to do with anything? WHAT?  
  
Hiro: Nothing. That's the glory of this fic.  
  
Myght: What's a "fic?"  
  
Hiro: It's what we live in now that our games are finished.  
  
Myght: I don't get it...  
  
Mecha-Munster: Me neither.  
  
Luna: See, it's like this: when we killed Ghaleon, that was a game. Then I chose not to be a goddess. Then the game ended. Now, we join the ranks of all of the games on Stilleas' "I beat it" list. We all get thrown into one giant, confusing world. And that world is called "Fanfiction.net."  
  
Myght: You lost me.  
  
Mecha-Munster: Me too.  
  
Myght: SHUT UP!!!  
  
Mecha-Munster: Sorry, Master Myght.  
  
Myght: NOT FORGIVEN!!!  
  
Luna: Where'd I lose you?  
  
Myght: You didn't.  
  
Luna: Then...why did you say I did?  
  
Myght: Poor planning on the author's part.  
  
Hiro: Hey, you just described this whole fic!  
  
Myght: Hmm...I guess I did. Anywho, see ya'!  
  
Mecha-Munster: NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!  
  
*Mecha-Munster grabs Myght to keep him from walking away*  
  
Myght: Mecha-Munster, I'm just trying to go to the bathroom!  
  
Mecha-Munster: I'll miss you too much!  
  
*Mecha-Munster hugs Myght extra hard, thereby killing him*  
  
Ramus: Awww...that's too bad!  
  
Hiro: How to kill, how to kill...  
  
Mecha-Munster: Me knows!  
  
*He tackles Ramus with his metallic, Herman Munster-sized body. Unfortunately, he is bounced back immediately, as if he had just hit a wall of a hybrid jello-rubber substance*  
  
Ramus: It's gonna take a lot more than THAT to outweigh ME! But don't worry, because you tried so hard, I'll take myself out for the effort! See ya' in Chapter Six!  
  
All (Including Ramus): Bye, Ramus!  
  
*Ramus pulls out a dagger and de-guts himself*  
  
Mecha-Munster: You seem to have more fun than Master Myght. He can't even make fun of Ramus. I'm coming with you!  
  
Luna: Okay, but only under one condition: you can only talk in palendrome!  
  
Mecha-Munster: Yay!  
  
Leo: What about your name, infidel?  
  
Luna: Isn't that a bit much?  
  
Leo: Too bad. Now, what'll it be?  
  
Steven R. Nevets: I am Stiven R. Nevets, Mai.  
  
Hiro: Who's Mai?  
  
Mecha-Munster: Huh? 


	6. Intermission

SCENE 6: INTERMISSION CAST: Hiro Lucia Luna Mecha-Munster Ramus Ghaleon Leo Alex  
  
SETTING: Outside Myght's Tower  
  
As we open, the group has just escaped Myght's Tower with Mecha- Munster. Skibbldy-dibbldy-danky-dorp skibbldy danky deiby. I dunno. The intro was too short.  
  
Hiro: Hey, Alex, isn't that one nudie forest around here?  
  
Alex: Luna...  
  
*Mecha-Munster grabs Alex around the throat*  
  
Mecha-Munster: When Master Hiro asks Un-master Alex a question, Un-master Alex must answer!  
  
Ramus: Hey, I thought you only spoke in palindrome!  
  
Mecha-Munster: I thought you were dead when that happened.  
  
Ramus: So, I could still hear you!  
  
Hiro: Hey, stop fighting. Mecha-Munster doesn't have to anymore.  
  
Ramus: Why's that?  
  
Hiro: Haven't you been paying attention? Everything that happens in one chapter is totally disregarded in the next! This world is total chaos!  
  
*As Hiro says this, Sephiroth and Goku are seen duking it out in the background. Speed Racer and his team blast through the foreground*  
  
Ramus: Eh. Hey, where are we going next?  
  
Leo: Er. "We?"  
  
Ramus: Well, I follow you anyway.  
  
Leo: True, true.  
  
Luna: Laaaa, la lalala, la lala lala lalala lala la, la la lalalalalala, la la, la lalala.  
  
*Luna's song causes a chemical reaction in Ramus' body, causing him to implode*  
  
Hiro: Where's Lucia, anyway?  
  
Lucia: Right here.  
  
*She jumps down from a nearby cliff. As she lands, some jagged rocks break her fall*  
  
Lucia: Help me.I'm in pain!  
  
Hiro: Oh, no! Zophar poisoned her soul!  
  
Leo: Idiot! She's not poisoned! Her bones are all in poor shape, though.  
  
Luna: *Sings Lucia back to health*  
  
Hiro: Hey, since we don't have to go to a hospital now, we have spare time! We can do whatever we want!  
  
*Far in the distance, so far that it seems a mere speck, a man is running across the fields. Alex grins and looks hopefully up at Luna*  
  
Luna: Go get 'em ya' little scamp!  
  
Alex: LUNAAAAA!!!!!!! *Runs off toward the speck on the horizon*  
  
Luna: Heh heh heh.kids.  
  
Mecha-Munster: So.what are your names?  
  
Hiro: I'm Hiro. This is Lucia. That's Luna. He's Leo. Ramus is dead. Alex ran off to kill a man.  
  
Mecha-Munster: Oh, yeah. I forgot.  
  
Hiro: So.is it any good working for Myght?  
  
Mecha-Munster: .eh.  
  
Lucia: Nice weather, isn't it?  
  
Hiro: Yep.  
  
Luna: Sure is.  
  
Leo: So, Luna.do you come here often?  
  
Luna: Used to.  
  
Leo: I see.  
  
Hiro: GEEZ, THIS IS BORING!!!  
  
*Alex comes back holding Ghaleon's head by the hair*  
  
Luna: Was that the traveler?  
  
*Alex nods his head*  
  
Ghaleon's Head: Why.didn't.I.ap.pear in.the pre.previous.chapter?  
  
Lucia: Hmmm.good question.  
  
Hiro: We can just kill you twice now.  
  
Ghaleon's Head: Fine.I.sup.suppose.that's f.fair.(cough, hack!!!)  
  
*Hiro draws his sword as Ghaleon's Head spews blood out its mouth. Hiro chops the head in half, has Luna heal it, and chops it in half again*  
  
Mecha-Munster: Well, it looks like it's time to go. Goodnight, everybody!  
  
Goku: Well, that ending was abrupt, now wasn't it?  
  
Speed Racer: Sure was.  
  
Sephiroth: Eh...thing is, this makes more sense than MY game. 


	7. Down in FanficLand

SCENE 7: Down In FanficLand  
  
CAST: Hiro  
  
Alex Luna Leo Mecha-Munster Lucia Ramus Ghaleon Kuja SETTING: Outside of Myght's Tower  
  
As we open, the group of young psychos with obvious problems long repressed has just finished the most boring conversation of their Fanfiction.net lives: just sitting there.  
  
Luna: The nudie forest should be southwest of here. Let's go.  
  
Leo: WAIT! I just had a thought! We don't have Jessica, Mia, or Nash in our party! We need them or else the nudie forest is just a bunch of crap!  
  
Hiro: You're right, Leo. I have an idea!  
  
*Hiro rips open a portal in the time-space continuum and jumps in. The rest follow in a Crono Trigger manner*  
  
Lucia: Where are we now?  
  
Hiro: Why, in FanficLand, the most funnliest place of those all!  
  
Ramus: They really need to work on their slogan.  
  
Mecha-Munster: YOU need to work on YOUR slogan.  
  
Ramus: Huh?  
  
Mecha-Munster: That's right.  
  
*Mecha-Munster picks Ramus up by the hair and twirls him about until it all falls out. He then proceeds to open up the lard-bucket's head and feast upon the delicious treats inside*  
  
Hiro, Lucia, Leo, and Luna: Yay!!!!!  
  
Alex: Luna!!!!!  
  
Lucia: So, Hiro, why are we here?  
  
Hiro: GEEZ! WHAT'S WITH THE THIRD DEGREE, WOMAN?!?  
  
*Hiro pulls out his sword and cuts her in half horizontally. Long tentacles reach out from her lower wound and attach themselves to the upper wound. Lucia is pulled together and instantly healed*  
  
Hiro: Hmm.nifty feature, isn't it?  
  
Alex: LUNA!  
  
Hiro: We're here to make the proposed trip to the nudie forest into a reality. We're here to find Jessica, Nash, and Mia.  
  
*At this moment, Kuja runs by. He stops, but is holding his crotch and hopping up and down like a four-year-old on speed and Mountain Dew simultaneously*  
  
Kuja: Sorry to bother you, but do you by any chance know where the little girl's room is? PLEASE?  
  
Leo: "Little girl's room?"  
  
*Kuja's face glows beet red*  
  
Kuja: Sorry, I keep forgetting, I'm a big girl now. Anyway, do you know?!?  
  
Hiro: Die.  
  
Luna: Now.  
  
Leo: Gravy.  
  
Kuja: Fine, thanks anyway.  
  
*He turns around as if to leave*  
  
Mecha-Munster: Master Hiro commands your death. You do not defy Master Hiro.  
  
*Mecha-Munster grabs Kuja, holds him/her up sideways, and snaps the omni- sexual freak in half*  
  
Mecha-Munster: ALL.YOUR.BASE.BELONG.TO.US.  
  
Luna: Let's keep looking.  
  
*The party looks around for a little while. After the previously mentioned little while, they meet back up*  
  
Luna: Who found anyone useful?  
  
Leo: Well, I met a boy named Ash from some color city. He was keeping tiny animals in hand-held fun-sized round cages and making them fight for his own sick pleasure. I rescued all of the animals that I could, killed the poacher, and stole all of the cages. After that, I found Nash. I threw one of these cages at him to get his attention, but all he did was scream "MOMMY!!!" and disappear.  
  
Hiro: Eh, he's a fag anyway.  
  
Ghaleon: You DARE call my cohort a FAG?  
  
Hiro: Yeah, Isn't that okay?  
  
Ghaleon: NO!!! Well, now that you mention it, the guy was sort of fruity.  
  
*Ghaleon spontaneously combusts at this point*  
  
Lucia: Hey, there's Mia!  
  
Hiro: And Jessica! Luna: Leo, give me some of those cages.  
  
*Leo hands the Poke Balls over to Luna. She chucks them at the two passing girls*  
  
Hiro: Well, it looks like we got what we were after.  
  
*He again tears open a portal and they do the Crono Trigger thingy* 


	8. A Tribute to the Most Used Letter in the...

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	9. The Mountain

SCENE 9: The Mountain CAST: Hiro Lucia Godzilla Leo Dr. Quest Ramus Luna Ghaleon Nash Mia Jessica Mecha-Munster Alex Bill Nye the Science Guy SETTING: The canyon south of the town west of Myght's Tower  
  
As we open, the group is walking through a mountain-forest hybrid and they, like, have these eggs in their heads! And they, uh, need these parts for a ship, and then they get 'em.and then they're walkin' around.and then they hatch.and then these aliens come out.and.um.uh.there's these aliens walkin around.and these aliens have eggs in their heads.and then they take over LUNAR. But they all die.and everything is magically changed back to normal. Anyway. as we open, the group is walking through a mountain-forest hybrid when they hear an extremely odd noise in the forest. They go up to investigate.  
  
Man's Voice: Oh, man, that feels SO good! This is just the relaxation my brain needed!  
  
Gargantuous Demon-voice: YESSSS, HONNEEYYYY!!!!!  
  
*The party enters a clearing and witnesses what is probably the beginning of a revolution leading to the apocalypse*  
  
Hiro: HOLY CRAP! It's Godzilla! And he's having coursual intersex with Dr. Quest!  
  
Mecha-Munster: "Coursual intersex"? Those words do not compute in my processor.  
  
Hiro: YOU don't compute in your processor!  
  
Mecha-Munster: Huh?  
  
Leo: Put this aside! What we see before us is wrong and will surely scar us for life!  
  
Luna: So, what do you suggest we do?  
  
Leo: Kill everything.  
  
Nash: I'm pretty! Why do we kill everything?  
  
Lucia: It's quite simple. To save the world from this monstrosity.  
  
Nash: I make me hot! But couldn't we just kill one of them?  
  
Leo: Shut up, fatty! I'll kill you! Huh? Sorry, I'm too used to Ramus.  
  
Ramus: Did somebody call "Ramus"?  
  
*Godzilla and Dr. Quest stop. Godzilla crushes Ramus. He then smears Fatty's remains all over the ground*  
  
Godzilla: Me hungy.  
  
Dr. Quest: Oh, hello. I'm Dr.-  
  
*Godzilla bites his head off*  
  
Nash: If I were any prettier, I'd be a god! See, Leo, problem solved.  
  
Leo: First of all, if you were any prettier, you'd be a woman. Second, problem anti-solved!  
  
Mia: Tee-hee!  
  
Nash: I'm horniest by myself! Mia, were you laughing because I'm cute?  
  
Mia: No, I'm laughing because I'm a better person than you, you foofy- haired maffy.  
  
Nash: I'm my OWN sex-enhancer! What's a maffy?  
  
Mia: Hermaphrodite.  
  
Nash: I make me happy in bed! Oh.  
  
Jessica: Finally, Stilleas wrote me some lines!  
  
Ghaleon: Speaking of lines, I forgot mine!  
  
Leo: DIE!  
  
*Leo cuts Ghaleon down. The party looks around for a few minutes*  
  
Hiro: Where's Godzilla?  
  
Luna: I dunno.  
  
Alex: Luna.  
  
Luna: Yes, Alex?  
  
Alex: FINALLY!!! I've been trying to get your attention since that day when we sang together in Burg!  
  
Luna: What did you want to tell me?  
  
Alex: Um.just a.one second.I'm thinking.CRAP! I forgot!  
  
Nash: I'm dead sexy! Sorry to interrupt, but shouldn't we try to get THROUGH the pass?  
  
Hiro: Nonsense! All we have to do is think happy thoughts and we can fly out of here!  
  
Nash: Have YOU made out with YOURself lately? You're screwin' with me, right?  
  
*Hiro grins and hovers off the ground. The rest of the party follows. Except Leo. He's a horrible person*  
  
Hiro: We'll meet you on the other side, Leo!  
  
Leo: I'LL KILL ALL OF YOU WHEN DISNEY FINISHES SUING STILLEAS! I SWEAR IT!!!  
  
*The group flies across the mountains*  
  
*Meanwhile.*  
  
*Bill Nye, (yes, THAT Bill Nye), is seen doing an Irish jig on a table sitting atop the Eiffel Tower in France to demonstrate gravity, all the while singing:*  
  
Bill Nye: I'm better than you, Do you know why? 'Cause I'm Bill Nye The Science Guy! 


	10. Under Leo Rule

SCENE 10: UNDER LEO RULE  
  
CAST: Hiro Leo Nash Mia Jessica Luna Alex Lucia Mecha-Munster Ramus Ghaleon Laike Gary Coleman SCENE: Just Outside of the Nudie Forest  
  
As we open, the group is approaching the famed Nudie Forest. Leo hasn't yet caught up with them. He is here. With me. He says he'll kill me if I don't give him all of my "dollas" and free lodging for the rest of the forever. Anyway.  
  
Hiro: FINALLY, we're HERE.  
  
Nash: I'm the Belle of the ball! I'm the Belle of the ball!  
  
*Suddenly, everybody dies*  
  
*Meanwhile, in the broken-into house, at the stolen computer at which Stilleas is typing this fic, Leo takes over*  
  
Stilleas: Everybody can't just die! There's no more fic that way!  
  
Leo: Screw you!  
  
*Leo gouges Stilleas' eyes out with his horn. Stilleas bleeds to death*  
  
Leo: Now I am the ruler of "Ghaleon's Peril"! I just put these finishing touches into the fic, and.  
  
Continued Fic: *Now that everybody is dead, Ramus revives. The sole human left on LUNAR, Ramus proclaims himself the ultimate ruler of the universe*  
  
Ramus: Hey! I'm the ultimate ruler of the universe!  
  
*A large boulder crushes Ramus*  
  
Leo: Fools, you all are my play toys!  
  
*Laike and Hiro revive. They fight to the death. Laike wins. He is struck by lightning*  
  
Leo: This is fun!  
  
*Maverick enters the room*  
  
Maverick: Stilleas? Hello? Hey!  
  
*Maverick sees Leo*  
  
Maverick: Hey, you're that one gamey guy from that video thingy! Where's Stilleas?  
  
Leo: I gouged his eyes out.  
  
Maverick: Oh.  
  
*Maverick saws off Leo's horn and stabs him with it. Forty-seven punctures in all. Maverick takes over the fic*  
  
Continued Fic: *Everybody revives*  
  
Maverick: Hmmm.  
  
Continued Fic: *Stilleas revives in the real world and takes over the fic again. Stilleas writes Maverick's death into the fic as well. Leo is teleported to the area where all the other heroes are. He revives and is very confused*  
  
Leo: What the-?! How am I back?  
  
Alex: Luna.  
  
Luna: Shut up!  
  
Ghaleon: This chapter makes less sense than any chapter before it. That's very sad, Stilleas. I'm ashamed to be your soulless puppet.  
  
Stilleas: Die.  
  
*Ghaleon dies*  
  
Mia: You can't just kill him. All he did was tell you how little sense you make. I mean, you're a friggin' idiot. I'd be surprised if you even had an I.Q., you 'tard.  
  
Stilleas: You will have horrible luck.  
  
*Mia turns into Gary Coleman*  
  
Gary Coleman: HEY!  
  
Stilleas: Ha ha! You're short!  
  
Gary Coleman: Whatchu talkin' 'bout, Stilleas?  
  
Stilleas: Adolf Hitler, Isaac Newton, and John-Jacob-Jingle-Heimer-Schmidt.  
  
Gary Coleman: Is that name Canadian?  
  
Stilleas: Know what, I think it is.  
  
Jessica: Are we going to go get naked now or what?  
  
Lucia: Eh, why not. We're almost there, anyway.  
  
Mecha-Munster: Come. Our ultimate goal is near.  
  
Hiro: Excited, Gary? Gary Coleman: Oh yeah!  
  
Hiro: Good, 'cause you're gonna have to take Mia's place.  
  
Gary Coleman: Whatchu talkin' 'bout, Hiro?  
  
Hiro: Dead baby juice.  
  
*Meanwhile, Bill Nye is still dancing upon a table on top of the Eiffel Tower*  
  
Bill Nye: I do not lie, I ate the pie! I am Bill Nye, The Science Guy! 


	11. The Nudie Forest

SCENE 11: THE NUDIE FOREST  
  
CAST: Hiro, Leo, Nash, Mia, Jessica, Luna, Alex, Lucia, Mecha-Munster, Ramus, Ghaleon, Laike, Dirty Old Man, Dirty Old Man's Hot Teenage Wife  
  
SCENE: Just Outside of the Nudie Forest  
  
As we open, the group of idiots finally enters the long-awaited nudie forest. On the other hand, sticks pencil in eye, which then proceeds to gush blood See? Good clean fun.  
  
Laike: I see you've finally arrived!  
  
Nash: Oh my god! It's that one guy! And I am just #$% sexy!  
  
Hiro: So, Laike we meet again. You can no longer frighten us with your weapons and clear threats of death. If this story has proven anything, it's that death is only a chapter long. Plus, we saw Godzilla having sex. You really can't do anything to top that.  
  
Laike: Is that so? (drops pants)  
  
Mia: (no longer Gary Coleman) (vomits)  
  
Leo: Oh. . .my GOD! Shield your eyes!  
  
Laike: MUAHAHAHA! FEAR MY NAKED GLORY!!!  
  
Mia: (vomits. . .blood)  
  
Lucia: #$%!  
  
Nash: Meh. . .it's not that big a deal.  
  
Jessica: I won't allow you to do this, you fiend! (rushes at Laike, staff held out as a weapon. The staff splinters over his naked awesomeness)  
  
Laike: Your puny weapons are no match for my evil genitals! Now it is my turn! (does an erotic dance)  
  
Mecha-Munster: This is becoming a porn fic quite quickly indeed.  
  
Leo: Shut up! (kicks Mecha-Munster, which sets off a chain reaction, somehow clothing Laike)  
  
Hiro: Ha! Now you are wearing the Pants of No Removal! You shall never be nude again!  
  
Nash: (to self) Awww man. . .Also, I'm hot.  
  
Alex: Luna!!!  
  
Luna: What is it, Alex?  
  
Alex: Luna! Luna, Luna!  
  
Ramus: I think he's trying to tell us something! What is it, boy?  
  
Alex: Lunaluna! Luuna!  
  
Mia: (vomits black blood)  
  
Hiro: (ignoring Mia's situation) I think he's a moron.  
  
Mecha-Munster: M-U-S-T T-E-R-M-I-N-A-T-E E-N-E-M-I-E-S O-F M-A-S-T-E-R H-I-R-O! (lifts Alex over his head and throws him through Laike, and they both lay motionless and dead)  
  
Jessica: See? Problem solved.  
  
(Ghaleon appears from nowhere once more)  
  
Ghaleon: Oh, is it?  
  
Jessica: Yeah, pretty much.  
  
(suddenly, Ghaleon and Ramus are dueling to the death in an ancient Roman-style arena)  
  
Ramus: How'd we get here?  
  
Ghaleon: God, you need to pay more attention.  
  
Ramus: What? (head explodes)  
  
Ghaleon: Puh-leease, like I haven't seen that a million times before. (head exp. . .no, IMplodes!!!)  
  
(cut back to the nudie forest where our heroes stand in front of the shrine where the dirty old man demands soap in exchange for temporary removal of clothes)  
  
Dirty Old Man: So. . .you wish to bathe naked, do you?  
  
Mia: (vomits kidney)  
  
Dirty Old Man: As I thought. First, however, you must pass the test of the soap!  
  
Leo: Here's some soap.  
  
Dirty Old Man: Then, of course, get naked to your heart's content.  
  
Nash: Don't mind if I do! (strips naked and jumps into bath)  
  
Dirty Old Man: Who are you, to get naked in front of me? I am but a simple old man.  
  
Nash: But you just said to-  
  
Hiro: Geez, Nash, what part of "Dirty Old Man" don't you get? He wants to see someone good-looking naked, preferrably female and without foofy hair.  
  
Nash: (cries silent tears of joy)  
  
Lucia: Well, then, I suppose I'm first! (removes clothes and jumps in bath)  
  
Dirty Old Man: See? Now that's better.  
  
Mia: (stops vomitting. . .and moving. . .)  
  
Leo: I save this for you, infidel! (slices Dirty Old Man into a million pieces. His hot teenage wife runs into the scene in terror)  
  
Dirty Old Man's Hot Teenage Wife: Oh my God! I just got the phone call! (bawls madly over the corpse of Dirty Old Man)  
  
Luna: Oh dear God! Laike's getting naked!  
  
(Ha!) 


End file.
